This blog contains affiliate links and compensated ads on the left and right sidebars. Affiliate links and compensated ads means I receive compensation for link and ad clicks. Every sponsored post on this blog will have its own disclosure at the beginning of the post. I appreciate the support and hope this information is clear. Thank you.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Wedding Website - Questions




So I am tentatively posting M and my wedding website at some point... not on here, just in general... probably after we "at some point" get our engagement photos done. Because it seems like everyone does these ridiculous photo shoots where people either look great or absolutely ridiculous. In some that I've seen, couples have worn blue jeans and JEAN SHORTS, with shades of blue t-shirts on. That isn't my cup of tea. I mean really, who MATCHES their fiancee? Don't you match your elementary school class or your siblings? It basically creeped M and I out to a whole new level. M and I are not a fan of that.

One good friend of mine, with impeccable taste, did an incredible photo shoot with her now-husband. It was in Norfolk, and they posed on bicycles and in the old neighborhoods (maybe even including Ghent) - and it was incredibly retro-chic with a boho vibe that fit her personality. They kind-of coordinated outfits but it didn't look stupid. It looked relaxed and effortless. I really adored their photos, because they were high quality shots that didn't look forced at all. That's what we want to go for.

Soooo back to the wedding website. This opportunity is unknown territory for my family and I, as I am the first child in my extended family to get married in 11 years. Yup, ELEVEN. So, 11 years ago, wedding websites didn't even exist yet. TheKnot.com was brand new and even that took some meandering around the internet. Everything was still mostly done in print. I am grateful to have several wedding etiquette books but I still have some questions I would appreciate hearing from you all about.

Registry listing: Many acquaintances and friends have posted their registry links on their wedding website. It is an optional tab on the sidebar, not on the main page. Is this okay? Or is it a no-no?

Engagement Story: How in-depth do you all get about the engagement story? The day we got engaged, M didn't even let me bring a camera, I think he wanted to keep it between us and not broadcast all over the world. My sister and her husband had it done similarly. On a beach in Jamaica, no camera. Then it is something kept between you two, and then you tell who you feel about it because they weren't there. Is the engagement story a tell or not tell feature for a wedding website? As Peggy Post puts it in her book, "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette," she says, "Don't include overly personal information...such as when you shared your first kiss, what you did on your first date, and so on (pg. 173)."

Ring: Do you show the ring in photos? Or do you only post photos that have the ring subtly displayed in a posed image?

Honeymoon: Do you share information about the honeymoon? M and I are on the fence about this information, as we feel as though it is ostentatious - but if it is the norm, we are certainly open to this option.

I would really love everyone's input on these things, because some tread the line between over-sharing and just letting people know.


As a side note, some people have asked my opinion on another new wedding "tradition" (?? definitely not the right word). I would like to point out that just like Judith Martin's "Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding" you could not [even with a gun to my head] have me consider ever posting anything along the lines of "Create a Gift" or "Contribute to Honeymoon/Mortgage/etc." as I find them tasteless, crass, and inappropriate. Okay, off of my soapbox now.

6 comments:

  1. I think a wedding website is a great idea! For how much you share, I think it depends on how public your site will be. I can see putting more of your stories on there if the site is friends/family only, but I wouldn't share too much on a public site unless it's something you and your fiance don't feel awkward having out there for the entire world to see.

    I hope all the wedding planning goes well!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had a friend do a website and she included a short version of the engagement with pictures. Obviously your story is different! I agree with VA Gal-it depends on how you want the information presented and what kind of privacy and intimacy you want to keep for yourself. Some things are best just for you! Hope this helped! Let me know if you need help! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I guess this counts as Maid of Honor duties.

    -Yes list your registry. It's the easiest way for people to find it, and they will want to find it.

    -As in-depth as you want. Emily Post sounds like a complete prude though.

    -There are plenty of people who will appreciate a ring shot so they can ooh and aah. The rest of us will just tactfully ignore it.

    -If you want to share your Honeymoon destination, feel free. Otherwise you can always update the site after the wedding with a "Thanks for making our wedding awesome, we're off to [great place of amazing]!"

    And as an aside, RE: "Create a Gift" or "Contribute to Honeymoon/Mortgage/etc.", certain cultures value a monetary contribution to a new family. This stems from times when people married young and the husband (because the wife didn't work) wasn't established yet, and the older generations saw it as their duty to ensure the family at least had a financially secure first year. So don't hate; if it's not for you then don't do it, but you could inadvertently offend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ VA Gal, I def don't plan on making it super public, just available via facebook and wedding party members. I'm still on the fence about putting a link on our save-the-dates. Thank you very much!

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Isabel: Thank you for the input, I agree that our story is very unique/difference so I guess I will figure it out eventually...

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Al, as usual MOH, you are the bestest. I 100% agree on the money-is-a-cultural thing. I was referring to the average non-religious non-culture person doing it out of spite for free money, not those who do it traditionally!

    ReplyDelete