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Friday, February 11, 2011

Friendship and Blogs



I've recently called into question many people I am friends with. I realized that many people I am friends with on Facebook are not people that I'd tell I was getting married on a specific date... or eventually... if I got pregnant. So I deleted a lot of them. I don't need them in my life, at least not until we reconnect at some point. Why become a statistic when you don't need to have _ _ _ _ # of friends? Facebook is for real, true friends. People I'd run up to in a bar elated to see, people who would CALL me on the phone, reply to my texts and email me back. True friends say hey back. Even if they are busy. Say "hey I am busy, can we talk later?" End of story! Simple!

I have also called into question many of the people I follow on Twitter, the people whose blogs I comment on. If you don't comment on my blog (when I comment on yours regularly), or you never bother to reply to something I said to you on Twitter - I delete you.

There are many people who blog who are not who they say they are. I get privacy and not showing pictures of their face - those people I respect. The people I do not respect are the people who blatantly lie about facets of their life. Lie about jobs, social opportunities and friends. Lying to advance your followers and build yourself up is fake. Acting like a show pony.... sad. Those who do not even understand that their social climbing methods are just ridiculous need to figure that out. I bet those people that, not even kidding, their life is still much better and more interesting than Jane Doe up the street. People should be themselves and not care! Privacy, again, doesn't count. Lying... it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You can be yourself and gain a following. You see people like that all the time in the real world. But some people think they can make up their own world and no one will notice.

I hope people are happy with what I put on here. I am a person with varying tastes. I do not stick to one subject or write about things I do not find interesting or valid. I write for me. But I chose to make this blog public and share my thoughts with you. Thoughts. Not lies. I frequently tell you about my life, because my life has been public for years.

I had a blog in 2000. That is how long I haven't been afraid to write about myself. I challenge anyone to find issue with that. My boarding school did at one point, and made me delete that blog. I did. Some stupid reason like you could vaguely interpret where the school was. Right. It was stupid of me to let them control my life like that. Then a week or two later I formed another one and gave the school the finger, because I lost four years of deep thoughts and shared interests with friends and all of those interesting melancholic moments you have as a teenager by deleting that first blog. I have continued to maintain that second blog. I love it because it is incredibly raw and intense because points of my life have been that way.

Another way I have had a public life? I've been in the press. My family has been in the press. It isn't like you know my address or SSN. So, my life has been public and that isn't something I really care to hide about. I am not a billionaire or a celebrity. But I have interesting stories and have had an above-average upbringing with good moments.

I really plan on making this blog special in the coming months. I graduate in May and more time will be available to do things like my blog and other plans I have for myself. I really hope people continue to follow me on my journey --- because I want you to see where things take me.

21 comments:

  1. This is SO true. I'm thinking of culling my own Facebook as well.

    I would say that for commenting, it is really hard to follow and comment on 2000+ blogs regularly... As the list grows and grows, it starts becoming more time than I want to spend.

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  2. Well said and I could not agree with you more!

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  3. Great post!

    I did a facebook purge a while back, and while I do still have a lot of friends, I have to say it felt great to delete some people.

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  4. FB - you've taught me a lot about letting go of things you don't need. That includes Facebook, Twitter, etc! I love that you still check in with my blog and leave comments, it means a lot!

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  5. Thanks Mr and Mrs! I appreciate the comment! I will check you out as soon as I get the chance, too!

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  6. Refreshing honesty! I need a Like button :-)

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  7. Thanks for writing this... It's so true. Sometimes it's sad but it is what it is.

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  8. This is a wonderful post! Thank you for being honest with your feelings and not afraid to call it like it is. Have a great weekend. xo xo

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  9. Preppy Girl - I am with you! It feels good to know that they aren't all up in my business! Ha!

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  10. Jamie-
    As you can tell, I chose to take (ie forced myself) the high road and not name names. I'm happy you feel the same way!

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  11. Sara -

    Bonjour m'amie! I wish they did have a "like" button on here. Maybe I will set up a facebook page??

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  12. Whitney - thank you for being so supportive. I am so honored by all of this encouragement.

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  13. Honesty is so important. Thank you!

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  14. I pretty much dropped out of twitter and barely facebook because I can't take all the bragging. It is too much.

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  15. Tara - Cannot wait to start reading your blog! You have been added to my blog roll and thank you for your thoughts.

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  16. ms. m - I know - we are at that age where some people think oversharing is "documenting" something. It does get old after a while.

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  17. So true!! I recently went through my facebook list and realized just how many people I was friends with "just because". It's crazy! Great post!

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  18. I'm so sorry you've run into this. It's possible that the midlife bloggers do it less. After all, we've all been through a lot, we've failed, we know that having true relationships matter. In any case, I think you're on the right path.

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  19. pipm, shasta, dshy dec, shop dandy, Grits....AHEM!

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  20. So funny.. I just got a FB message from a friend from college. He was wanting to interview with a company and said that he noticed I was "friends" with someone and how I knew them. I had no idea who he was talking about, but sure enough I was FB friends with him... not ok! I always enjoy your honesty on your blog. You are never afraid to say what you feel. I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you through our blogs!

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  21. I think you run into the issue everywhere on the internet, the issue of people not saying who they are. There is a fine line between real life and blogging. I also do think people misinterpret things when reading blogs. I have found that I will post about doing things I do not think twice about yet people somehow think I am either living some lavish life or else they Google someething and come up empty handed and assume you are lying and made it all up (very odd to Google something to begin with in my personal opinion...plus as much as we like to believe not EVERY last detail is posted online). Twitter can also be difficult as you cannot read someone's tone. All in all, there is just a fine line and you have to be careful and aware of others motives when you put yourself out there.

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